Monday, June 11, 2012

Summary of "Your Erroneous Ways" and "How to make friends and influence people"

 Two books I read for self improvement. I believe these provide a good framework for 1) controlling yourself and 2) human relations.

Your Erroneous Zones

  1. You control your thoughts, therefore you control your emotions
  2. Love yourself
  3. Don’t seek approval
  4. Don’t let the past define who you are. Don’t say things like “I’m shy”, because this is behavior that can be changed
  5. Guilt and worry are useless.
  6. Try new things
  7. There’s no right or wrong, just different. Do what you want to do
  8. Life’s not fair, don’t whine about it
  9. Don’t put off doing stuff
  10. Be independent in all relationships
  11. Anger is a choice, don’t choose it

How to win friends and influence people

1.     Handling People

1)      Don’t make fun of people
2)      Don’t criticize people’s things / ideas
3)      Don’t whine
4)      Give sincere appreciation
5)      Give people a good reason to do something

2.     Make people like you

1)      Be interested in the other person
2)      Smile
3)      Remember the person’s name
4)      Be a good listener
5)      Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
6)      Make the other person feel important

3.     How to win people to your way of thinking

1)      Avoid arguments
2)      Respect people’s opinions, don’t say “you’re wrong”
3)      Admit when you’re wrong quickly
4)      Begin in a friendly way
5)      Get the other person agreeing with your logical premises
6)      Let the other person do most of the talking
7)      Let the other person believe that a good idea is their own
8)      See from the other person’s view
9)      Be sympathetic with the person’s ideas
10)   Appeal to nobler motives – not just base motives (i.e. profit motive)
11)   Dramatize ideas
12)   Challenge the other person

4.     Leadership

1)      Begin by praising
2)      Indirectly call out mistakes
3)      Talk about your own mistakes before talking about the other’s
4)      Ask questions instead of orders
5)      Let the other person save face
6)      Praise all improvements, little or big
7)      Give the person a high reputation to live up to
8)      Encourage, make the problem seem easy to fix
9)      Make the person be happy about what you suggest

Mac’s 3 rules of communication in public

  1. Never talk about religion
  2. Never talk about politics
  3. Never talk about your “passions”, unless specifically asked to discuss them. For example, baseball, video games, movies, etc…

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